A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS.

The internet is dying, images from your old posts are disappearing!

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 23:07:00 -0400

[ i’ve finally gone back and replaced them. now you, too, can enjoy vintage ask5ms questions! ]

EDIT:

PERHAPS YOU COULD HAVE THEM HOLD YOU INSTEAD? MANY OF THEM SEEM TO HAVE NO SHORTAGE OF PREHENSILE...

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 01:17:06 -0400

PERHAPS YOU COULD HAVE THEM HOLD YOU INSTEAD? MANY OF THEM SEEM TO HAVE NO SHORTAGE OF PREHENSILE APPENDAGES.

WE MUST ADMIT THE EXPLOSION OF POPULARITY REGARDING THESE “MONSTER GIRLS” IS BAFFLING. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED MATING WITH YOUR OWN SPECIES?

THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. …WE HOPE THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 00:57:27 -0400

THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

…WE HOPE THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

MISS SEKIBANKI WAS ORIGINALLY A NUKEKUBI, BUT MORE RECENTLY TOOK ON THE FEATURES OF A ROKUROKUBI...

Wed, 29 May 2013 23:20:05 -0400

MISS SEKIBANKI WAS ORIGINALLY A NUKEKUBI, BUT MORE RECENTLY TOOK ON THE FEATURES OF A ROKUROKUBI AS WELL; SHE CAN DETACH HER HEAD AND STRETCH HER NECK TO GREAT LENGTHS (OR EVEN DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME - QUITE A GRUESOME SIGHT). HISTORICALLY, NUKEKUBI AND ROKUROKUBI HAVE OFTEN BEEN CONFUSED, WHICH CAUSED MISS SEKIBANKI TO TAKE ON THE IDENTITIES OF BOTH. IF SHE CHOSE TO TAKE UP EQUESTRIANISM, PERHAPS SHE COULD EVEN BECOME KNOWN AS A DULLAHAN AS WELL.

SINCE A YOUKAI’S IDENTITY HINGES UPON THE FEARS AND BELIEFS OF HUMANS, IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A YOUKAI’S NATURE TO CHANGE DEPENDING ON HOW IT IS KNOWN. AS LEGENDS CHANGE OVER TIME, A YOUKAI MAY CHOOSE TO EMBRACE ITS NEW IDENTITY AND USE IT TO SPREAD FEAR AMONG HUMANS, AND THUS BECOME SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY.

IN THE CASE OF A PARTICULARLY LONG-LIVED YOUKAI, WHO KNOWS WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN IN THE PAST?

NO, THE ONLY SENTIENT PLANETOID WE KNOW OF IS AN ARTIFICIAL ONE, AND HE IS QUITE THE UNPLEASANT...

Wed, 29 May 2013 18:51:58 -0400

NO, THE ONLY SENTIENT PLANETOID WE KNOW OF IS AN ARTIFICIAL ONE, AND HE IS QUITE THE UNPLEASANT FELLOW, TO SAY THE LEAST.

ALL CREATURES DREAM IN WHATEVER COLORS THEY ARE ACCUSTOMED TO SEEING. NOTE THAT DREAMS ARE HEAVILY...

Wed, 29 May 2013 00:04:09 -0400

ALL CREATURES DREAM IN WHATEVER COLORS THEY ARE ACCUSTOMED TO SEEING. NOTE THAT DREAMS ARE HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY WHATEVER FANTASTICAL MEDIA A PERSON MAY PARTAKE IN, SO FOR INSTANCE, A PERSON WHO HAS VIEWED MOSTLY BLACK AND WHITE TELEVISION IN THEIR LIFETIME IS LIKELY TO HAVE DREAMS WITHOUT COLOR.

IF YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT THE COLOR OF THE DREAM BUBBLES THEMSELVES, THEY ARE NORMALLY A SHADE OF PURPLE WHEN VIEWED FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE DREAM WORLD.

THE DREAM WORLD LACKS THE COMMODITIES NECESSARY TO SUPPORT MOST LIVING THINGS, SO ANYONE THAT...

Tue, 28 May 2013 00:10:37 -0400

THE DREAM WORLD LACKS THE COMMODITIES NECESSARY TO SUPPORT MOST LIVING THINGS, SO ANYONE THAT WISHES TO MAKE THEIR HOME HERE MUST BE A POWERFUL MAGICIAN THAT CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE MALLEABLE NATURE OF THE DREAM WORLD TO CREATE THEIR OWN. OR BE IMMORTAL. WHICHEVER.

THE MOST NOTABLE EXAMPLE WOULD BE MISS GENGETSU. SHE IS NOT A NATIVE CREATURE OF THE DREAM WORLD, BUT RATHER A DEMON WHO CAME HERE WITH HER SISTER IN THE INTERESTS OF MAKING HER OWN WORLD.

IT WAS COMING ALONG RATHER NICELY, BUT IT’S BEEN IDLE FOR SOME TIME NOW. WE SUSPECT SHE RAN OUT OF IDEAS.

NEWCOMERS, YOU SAY? WE WERE NOT AWARE THAT ANY NOTABLE OUTSIDERS HAD ENTERED GENSOKYO IN THE PAST...

Mon, 27 May 2013 02:37:48 -0400

NEWCOMERS, YOU SAY? WE WERE NOT AWARE THAT ANY NOTABLE OUTSIDERS HAD ENTERED GENSOKYO IN THE PAST YEAR. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT.

[ okay so it occured to me that while i’m generally too tired to work on purplequest or...

Mon, 27 May 2013 00:24:37 -0400

[ okay so

it occured to me that while i’m generally too tired to work on purplequest or commissions on weekdays, for the sake of getting SOMETHING done, i could manage to squeeze out some 5ms questions!

since all the questions in my box were really old, i cleared it out. if you had a question that didn’t get answered feel free to resend it.

ask box reopened! ]

THERE ISN’T ONE. ENJOY YOUR NEWFOUND NIHILISM.IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, IT IS SOMEWHAT OF A MOOT...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:05:50 -0400

THERE ISN’T ONE. ENJOY YOUR NEWFOUND NIHILISM.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, IT IS SOMEWHAT OF A MOOT POINT. NEITHER THE BIRTH NOR THE DEATH OF ANY CREATURE IS A FOREGONE CONCLUSION; NO HIGHER POWER HAS DECIDED YOUR PURPOSE, AND EVEN IF IT HAS, YOU NEED NOT FULFILL IT. NO OTHER CREATURE WILL BRING YOU MEANING. IT WILL HAVE TO COME FROM WITHIN.

WE APOLOGIZE IF THIS IS UNENLIGHTENING. COMPLICATED QUESTIONS DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE INTERESTING ANSWERS.

TO CLARIFY THIS ISSUE, A BIT OF BACKGROUND IS NEEDED REGARDING THE PROTOCOL FOR PROCESSING THE...

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 23:22:24 -0400

TO CLARIFY THIS ISSUE, A BIT OF BACKGROUND IS NEEDED REGARDING THE PROTOCOL FOR PROCESSING THE SOULS OF THE DECEASED.

NORMALLY, WHEN ONE PASSES AWAY AND ARRIVES ON THE BANKS OF THE SANZU RIVER, ONE MUST PAY THE SHINIGAMI A TOLL TO PASS THE RIVER AND ARRIVE IN HIGAN TO FACE THE YAMA FOR JUDGEMENT. THE YAMA WILL THEN SEND THAT SOUL TO HEAVEN, HELL, OR TO BE REINCARNATED BASED ON THE SINS IT CARRIES.

TO PAY THE SHINIGAMI’S TOLL, ONE MUST GIVE ALL THE MONEY THEY ARE CARRYING. HOWEVER, THIS MONEY DOES NOT COME FROM ANY MATERIAL WEALTH THE OWNER ONCE POSSESSED; INSTEAD, THE MONEY THEY HAVE REPRESENTS THE VALUE OF ALL THE BONDS AND FRIENDSHIPS THE PERSON HAD IN LIFE. IF ONE DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH TO PAY THE SHINIGAMI, OR SIMPLY REFUSES TO PAY, THE SHINIGAMI WILL TOSS THE SOUL INTO THE RIVER; IT WILL BE DEVOURED BY THE TERRIBLE CREATURES THAT LIVE THERE, AND BYPASS THE YAMA’S JUDGEMENT, BEING SENT STRAIGHT TO HELL.

NOW, IMAGINE IF AN UNTOLD NUMBER OF MORALLY BANKRUPT (LITERALLY, IN THIS CASE) SOULS WERE TO ARRIVE ON THE BANKS OF THE SANZU AT THE SAME TIME. AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF SOULS WOULD BE THROWN OVERBOARD AND DESCEND INTO HELL, WITH NO FEES PAID TO THE SHINIGAMI. THE POPULATION OF HELL WOULD EXPERIENCE A DRAMATIC INFLUX OF PRISONERS, WITH NO FUNDING TO THE WARDENS TO ACCOMMODATE THEM.

THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT HAPPENED. THE END RESULT IS THAT WHAT IS NOW FORMER HELL HAD TO BE CLOSED DOWN, AND THE PRISONERS HAD TO BE CONSOLIDATED WITH THOSE OF ANOTHER DISTRICT. THE TRANSFER WAS NOT SEAMLESS; A FEW RUNAWAY EVIL SPIRITS STILL RESIDE IN FORMER HELL, AS WELL AS MANY OF THE OLD FOUL-TEMPERED WARDENS. WE RECOMMEND KEEPING YOUR DISTANCE FROM THIS DREADFUL PLACE.

YOUR SECOND QUESTION IS ALSO INTERESTING, BUT WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER TIME.

WE WOULD GLADLY TELL YOU THE ANSWER, BUT EVEN IF WE WERE TO USE THE COMBINED AREA OF ALL THE PLANES...

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 22:47:38 -0400

WE WOULD GLADLY TELL YOU THE ANSWER, BUT EVEN IF WE WERE TO USE THE COMBINED AREA OF ALL THE PLANES OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, THERE WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH SPACE TO DISPLAY IT.

THE LAST DIGIT IS 5.

askeirin: ((Oh dear heavens…)) But of course, Sir Magic Stones....

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 18:39:11 -0500

askeirin:

((Oh dear heavens…))

But of course, Sir Magic Stones. I should be able to devise a cure that would facilitate a much higher rate of recovery. However, in order to do so, it would probably help to become much better acquainted with your peculiar anatomy. Of course, I will allow you to do the same if you like. With your permission, we can proceed in a mutual physical examination~

EXCELLENT! AN OPPORTUNITY TO GATHER THE CLOSELY GUARDED DATA ON LUNARIAN PHYSIOLOGY. PERHAPS NOW WE WILL UNDERSTAND THE REASONS FOR THEIR STRENGTH AND LONGEVITY.

STONE #5! PREPARE THE PROBES!

VERY WELL. [ BGM ] [ it’s 5 am. sleep? fuck that, gotta draw the stones turning...

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 05:02:00 -0500

VERY WELL.

[ BGM ]

[ it’s 5 am. sleep? fuck that, gotta draw the stones turning into the megazord. ]

NO, EVEN IF SOMEONE HADN’T THE FAINTEST IDEA WHAT THE DRAGON BALLS LOOK LIKE, THEY WOULD...

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 01:32:17 -0500

NO, EVEN IF SOMEONE HADN’T THE FAINTEST IDEA WHAT THE DRAGON BALLS LOOK LIKE, THEY WOULD REALIZE FINDING FIVE DRAGON BALLS IN ONE PLACE WOULD BE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

IF WE GAIN ENOUGH MAGICAL POWER, MAYBE WE WILL BE ABLE TO GRANT WISHES AS WELL. BUT NOT WITHOUT GOOD REASON. THE EXPERIENCE PENALTY IS HARSH.

WE ARE CAPABLE OF PERFORMING ACTIONS THAT COULD BE INTERPRETED AS “COMPASSIONATE” OR...

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 00:54:01 -0500

WE ARE CAPABLE OF PERFORMING ACTIONS THAT COULD BE INTERPRETED AS “COMPASSIONATE” OR “CRUEL” (AS SUBJECTIVE AS SUCH TERMS MAY BE), BUT THAT MUCH SHOULD BE OBVIOUS. THUS, WE ASSUME YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT THE OUR INTENT.

THE ANSWER IS NO; WE DISPENSE EXACTLY AS MUCH AID OR PUNISHMENT AS WE THINK IS DESERVED, BY MEANS OF REASON.

THERE IS ONE EXCEPTION, IN THAT WE WILL SOMETIMES PERFORM PRANKS, WHICH SOME MAY FIND UNWARRANTED. HOWEVER, WE BELIEVE THAT THE OCCASIONAL PRANK SERVES AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN SOCIETY, WHICH IS TO TRAIN A HEALTHY SENSE OF SKEPTICISM FOR USE AGAINST GENUINELY HARMFUL DECEPTIONS.

AFTER DOING A BIT OF RESEARCH, WE BELIEVE ROCK IS THE BEST CHOICE FOR OUR ENVIRONMENT.

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 01:51:50 -0500

AFTER DOING A BIT OF RESEARCH, WE BELIEVE ROCK IS THE BEST CHOICE FOR OUR ENVIRONMENT.

AS WE HAVE SAID REPEATEDLY, NO, WE ARE CONSTRUCTS AND WE DO NOT HAVE SOULS. WE ARE RESILIENT, BUT...

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 00:31:23 -0500

AS WE HAVE SAID REPEATEDLY, NO, WE ARE CONSTRUCTS AND WE DO NOT HAVE SOULS. WE ARE RESILIENT, BUT WHEN WE DIE, THAT IS THE END OF IT.

ACCORDING TO DOCTOR YAGAKORO (UNDER THE EFFECTS OF SOME OF THAT PESKY ANON MAGIC), A JUDGEMENT ON US FROM THE YAMA RETURNS A “BLUE” RESULT, RATHER THAN WHITE OR BLACK. THIS IS LIKELY SOME SORT OF “NOT APPLICABLE” RESPONSE.

SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A NOVICE, WE WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME ADVICE. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES...

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 00:13:05 -0500

SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A NOVICE, WE WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME ADVICE.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF LASERS, AND AS SUCH, DIFFERENT METHODS FOR FIRING THEM.

ONE TYPE OF LASER IS A BULLET LASER. IT CAN BE TREATED ESSENTIALLY THE SAME WAY AS A NORMAL BULLET, EXCEPT THAT YOU MUST KEEP IN MIND THAT IT WILL TAKE LONGER BEFORE YOU CAN CROSS BACK OVER THE AREA THAT THE LASER PASSED.

THEN THERE ARE FIELD LASERS, WHICH IS WHAT YOU FELL PREY TO. FIELD LASERS ORIGINATE FROM A SINGLE POINT AND CONTINUALLY FIRE ENERGY TO A CERTAIN DISTANCE AT SEEMINGLY INSTANT SPEEDS. HOWEVER, THIS METHOD HAS ITS OWN DOWNSIDE.

IF YOU WATCH ANY NUMBER OF DANMAKU DUELS IN GENSOKYO, YOU WILL NOTICE THAT FIELD LASERS WILL PLACE A THIN, HARMLESS LASER MARKING THEIR TRAJECTORY BEFORE FIRING. ALTHOUGH IT WOULD SEEM THIS MECHANISM EXISTS IN ORDER TO FULFILL THE “ESCAPABLE” CLAUSE OF THE SPELLCARD RULES, THE TRUTH IS THAT THE TRACER IS NECESSARY TO CREATE A STABLE FIELD IN WHICH TO MAINTAIN THE LASER.

WATCH FOR THESE TRACERS CAREFULLY. IN THE CONFUSION OF A FIRE FIGHT, IT IS COMMON FOR ONE TO TRAIN THEIR EYE TO WATCH ONLY FOR CERTAIN TYPES OF MOTION; THIS MAY CAUSE YOU TO MISS IMPORTANT VISUAL CUES OF WHAT IS COMING. IT MAY ALSO HELP YOUR VISIBILITY IF YOU RESEARCH TECHNIQUES THAT MAKE IT EASIER TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OWN ATTACKS. FOR INSTANCE, MANY RESIDENTS OF GENSOKYO CAN USE THEIR MAGIC TO MAKE IT SO THAT THEY SEE THEIR OWN BULLETS WITH SIGNIFICANTLY LESS OPACITY.

IN SHORT, PAY ATTENTION.

DESPITE ENGINEERING AN ENDEARING APPEARANCE FOR THEMSELVES, THESE ALIENS ARE EMOTIONLESS AND...

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 21:49:09 -0500

DESPITE ENGINEERING AN ENDEARING APPEARANCE FOR THEMSELVES, THESE ALIENS ARE EMOTIONLESS AND MALEVOLENT AND SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED. THE “WISHES” THESE CREATURES OFFER IN EXCHANGE FOR THEIR CONTRACTS MAY SOUND APPEALING AT FIRST, BUT DO NOT BE FOOLED - IN THE LONG RUN THEY WILL BRING ONLY SUFFERING.

AS THEY TEND TO PREY ON UNSTABLE YOUNG FEMALES, WE BELIEVE THEY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED OPENLY HOSTILE, AND SHOULD BE KILLED ON SIGHT.