A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS.

THE PANTS IN QUESTION ARE PART OF AN ONGOING MAGICAL RESEARCH STUDY THAT STEMMED FROM A QUESTION THAT POPPED UP WHILE EXAMINING A NUMBER OF ENCHANTED ARTICLES OF CLOTHING FOR HUMANS:

WHY ARE THERE NO MAGIC PANTS?

HUMANS WILL SEE FIT TO ENCHANT NEARLY EVERYTHING THEY COULD POSSIBLY WEAR, EVEN GOING AS FAR AS TO WEAR JEWELRY WHEN THEY OTHERWISE WOULD NOT. HOWEVER, INSTANCES OF ENCHANTED PANTS, A GARMENT OF EXTREME IMPORTANCE, ARE ALMOST UNHEARD OF.

AFTER MAKING THIS BIZARRE OBSERVATION, WE DECIDED TO TAKE IT UPON OURSELVES TO START ENGINEERING SOME FORMULAS FOR THE CREATION OF MAGICAL LEGWEAR. WE’VE BEEN FAIRLY SUCCESSFUL WITH GENERIC ENCHANTMENTS SUCH AS PROTECTION AND ABILITY ENHANCEMENTS, AND LATELY WE’VE MADE A FEW BREAKTHROUGHS IN TERMS OF ORIGINAL CREATIONS AS WELL.

HERE, HAVE A LOOK AT THIS SAMPLE, WHICH STONE #1 RECENTLY COMPLETED.

MANY HUMANS CLAIM THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE DREAMS, BUT THIS IS INCORRECT - THEY ARE SIMPLY NOT REMEMBERING THEM. IF YOU HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP FOR ANY SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME, YOU ARE ALMOST ASSUREDLY DREAMING.

INSTANCES IN WHICH INDIVIDUALS GENUINELY DO NOT EXPERIENCE DREAMS ARE VERY RARE AND DIFFICULT TO DIAGNOSE. USUALLY IT INDICATES THAT YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS BEING INHIBITED SOMEHOW; A SKILLED HYPNOTIST IS YOUR BEST BET AT DIAGNOSING THE PROBLEM, IN THIS CASE.

SOMETIMES WE MAY DELIBERATELY BLOCK CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS FROM BEING ABLE TO DREAM. THIS PROTOCOL IS RESERVED FOR MAJOR SECURITY ISSUES AND TYPICALLY NOT LONG-TERM. IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY BEEN BLOCKED, YOU CAN CONTACT THE DREAM WORLD DEFENSE AUTHORITY CUSTOMER SERVICE HOTLINE, OPEN 24-7.

OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, YES, BUT IT WOULD BE MISLEADING TO SUGGEST IT WOULD BE DUE TO BIOLOGICAL SIMILARITIES. THE TYPES OF DREAMS AN INDIVIDUAL HAS ARE BASED ON THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, BUT PATTERNS MAY EMERGE BETWEEN INDIVIDUALS WITH SIMILAR LIFESTYLES (I.E. CREATURES OF THE SAME SPECIES).

FOR INSTANCE, ALTHOUGH YOU ARE A TREE, WE STRONGLY DOUBT OTHER TREES EXPERIENCE DREAMS OF THE SURREAL TYPE YOU JUST DESCRIBED.

JAMES FRANCO??

[ as a side note, i fucking love the idea of an ayakashi ask blog. inanimate touhous unite! ] 

NO, THE OFFICIAL HISTORY OF THE SAIGYOU AYAKASHI IS INDEED THE CORRECT ONE.

A TREE WOULD SERVE POORLY AS A SPACECRAFT. WE IMAGINE IT WOULD BURN UP ON REENTRY.

WE BELIEVE THE GREATEST HUMAN ARCH-IEVEMENT WOULD BE THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE IN PARIS. MAGNIFICENT PIECE OF ART AND ARCHITECTURE, THAT.

AS A RUNNER UP, WHILE IT ISN’T NEARLY AS ORNATE, THE GATEWAY ARCH IN ST. LOUIS IS ALSO A FINE WORK OF ENGINEERING.

NO, AND PERHAPS IT’S FOR THE BEST. WE WOULD BE UNIQUELY DISADVANTAGED SINCE HIS ABILITY APPEARS TO BE THE MANIPULATION OF CRYSTAL BALLS (AND ALSO GOBLINS, SINCE OTHERWISE WE’RE NOT SURE HOW HE COULD BE THEIR KING WITHOUT BEING ONE HIMSELF).