WE ARE INDEED CAPABLE OF RENDERING MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING DIAGRAMS.

WE ARE ALSO CAPABLE OF RENDERING FAR LESS AESTHETICALLY PLEASING ONES.

OUR BUSY SCHEDULES AND THE VOLUME OF QUESTIONS WE RECEIVE FORCE US TO STRIKE A BALANCE BETWEEN THE QUALITY OF THE DIAGRAMS AND THE TIME REQUIRED TO PRODUCE THEM. WE SINCERELY APOLOGIZE IF OUR ANSWERS APPEAR UNPROFESSIONAL AS A RESULT.

IN TERMS OF INFECTIOUS DISEASES, NO. DREAM WORLD CREATURES ARE GENERALLY NON-BIOLOGICAL AND THUS IMMUNE.

WE SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE TO ENGINEER SOME SORT OF MAGICAL DISEASE THAT WOULD WORK AGAINST US, BUT THAT WOULD BE LARGELY POINTLESS, AS OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE DISEASE TO SPREAD WOULD BE SCARCE, AND WE WOULD BE WELL-EQUIPPED TO ENGINEER A CURE (OR RATHER, A COUNTERSPELL).

REGARDLESS, WE ARE NOTHING IF NOT THOROUGH, SO THE DREAM WORLD DEFENSE AUTHORITY HAS A SET OF PROCEDURES OUTLINED IN CASE OF AN OUTBREAK.

DIFFICULT TO JUDGE. WE WOULD HAVE TO SEE A WOODCHUCK YOUKAI IN ACTION.

IT WOULD BE SAFE TO ESTIMATE THAT IT WOULD BE A PRODIGIOUS AMOUNT; LIKELY ENOUGH TO FILL THE HUMAN VILLAGE’S STOCKPILES FOR A MONTH.

BECAUSE IF YOU ARE CHOOSING YOUR WEAPONS BASED LARGELY ON THEIR ENTERTAINMENT VALUE, THEN YOUR ENEMY IS PROBABLY NOT IN A FAVORABLE POSITION TO WIN.

PHYSICAL AND MAGICAL CAPABILITIES ARE FAIRLY ASYMMETRICAL ACROSS THE VARIOUS DREAM WORLD SPECIES, SO CONTESTS OF THIS TYPE ARE UNCOMMON, AS THEY ARE NOT CONSIDERED TO GIVE ALL PARTICIPANTS A “SPORTING” CHANCE. REGARDLESS, WE DO HOLD THESE KINDS OF COMPETITIONS AS TRAINING EXERCISES. AFTER ALL, THE BATTLEFIELD IS AN UNFAIR PLACE.

WHEN IT COMES TO A BATTLE OF WITS, HOWEVER, THE CREATURES OF THE DREAM WORLD ARE REMARKABLY EVEN IN TERMS OF POTENTIAL. AS SUCH, THIS IS OUR PREFERENCE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.

YOU HUMANS WOULD LIKELY FIND OUR COMPETITIONS UNINTERESTING. WE GENERALLY PREFER STRATEGY GAMES THAT INVOLVE A GREAT DEAL OF LONG-TERM PLANNING, AND OFTEN PLAY THEM IN SHORT BITS OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL WEEKS, OR EVEN MONTHS. THE GAMES OF CHESS BY CORRESPONDENCE PLAYED BY HUMANS BEFORE THE RISE OF THE INTERNET WOULD BE A FINE COMPARISON.

IN FACT, ONE OF OUR HOBBIES IN THE DREAM WORLD IS TAKING HUMAN GAMES AND ADDING NEW LAYERS OF COMPLEXITY TO THEM IN ORDER TO SUIT OUR TASTES. FOR INSTANCE, WE’VE MANAGED TO CONSTRUCT A WORKING MODEL OF THE FOUR-DIMENSIONAL HYPER CHESS VARIANT, AND IT HAS PROVED QUITE ENJOYABLE, ALTHOUGH SOMEWHAT DISORIENTING.

THEY CAN AND DO, ALTHOUGH IT HAS LESS TO DO WITH REPRODUCTION AND MORE TO DO WITH THEIR ASSOCIATION WITH THE HUMAN PSYCHE. DUE TO SOME DIFFERENCES IN ANATOMY, INTERCOURSE BETWEEN YOUKAI MAY LOOK QUITE A BIT DIFFERENT FROM HOW YOU’RE ACCUSTOMED TO SEEING IT.

SINCE THIS OUR CEREMONIAL 150TH POST, WE THINK WE CAN GET AWAY WITH SHOWING A FEW EXAMPLES FOR YOUR OWN, SHALL WE SAY, “EDUCATION”. BE SURE NOT TO LET THE KIDS AT HOME SEE THESE.

[ time for an OOC ANSWER-O-RAMA

ask-disciple-kyouko asked:
Wooo ask box is open again. I just want to say that I really, really like your work on the blog here! Your posts are pretty consistently amusing and intelligent, whiiich I’m not sure I can say about any other Touhou ask blog I’ve seen (maybe Ask Kaguya Houraisan?). I get the impression it’s not as popular as it deserves, likely due to a lack of pubescent girls, but it doesn’t really matter. And besides, whenever you do draw some humans, they tend to be plenty cute enough! 

 thanks! my inbox fills faster than i can answer it, so i’ve got more than enough popularity as far as i’m concerned.

also i agree, askkaguyahouraisan is boss, although sort of my exact opposite; instead of my mass-production mspaint approach, kaguya has a handful of updates with godlike production values. hoping to see some more updates there eventually.

yours is great too, by the way! it’s really fun to see touhous get drawn in a western art style for some reason. hope you feel better soon! 

Anonymous asked:
I’ve noticed that you seem often seem to refer to my sister and I as being residents of your dream world. I’m wondering how you’ve gotten this impression, as neither Mugenkan, a world created by a friend of ours, nor my world is part of your dream world. speaking of which, we haven’t seen yuukarin around lately. where did she run off to?

  i was sure this would come up eventually, when you go around blathering out your own bullshit canon like i do it’s bound to come into conflict with somebody else’s eventually! anyway, as best as the translations of LLS materials can tell me, mugenkan and gengetsu’s world are both “dream worlds” but since mugenkan is named and gengetsu’s isn’t i took a bit of liberty with that and put the sisters in the “dream world” referenced in SoEW proper, partially so there would at least be more than one (five?) touhou character out there. also, being in the dream world doesn’t mean that gengetsu couldn’t have her own “world” (i.e. planet) within its borders, since in my mind i currently have her as the most powerful being in the dream world.

i’d consider changing it if the gengetsu blog took issue with it, since it’s nice to be consistent with the other blogs, but that author seems the type to give no fucks about what some grognard is doing with his magic space rocks over here.

Anonymous asked:
(This is the best Ask So-and-So picture blog I have ever seen, hands down. You chose a highly obscure character/s, manage to sound knowledgeable about a wide array of subjects, provide intelligent and thoughtful answers, know Touhou pretty damn well —except Eiki isn’t actually short; check the PoFV endings, and that you can trigger trance mode in Ten Desires WITHOUT dying; there’s a button for it— are humorous without forcing it too much, and are a damn fine artist. Thank you very much)

 thanks! while i do think i’m not a terrible artist, i’m not sure i’d agree my mspaint scribbles provide much of an argument otherwise. but they’re fun and they let me answer a lot of questions quickly!

short eiki is a sacred cow. i dare not challenge it. i justify it by saying that her art in pofv is like those old christian paintings where important people are bigger than the people around them for some reason.

also i recommend watching this video series on scorerunning 10D. it’s incredibly silly. it actually helps your score to bomb on bosses so you can sit on top of them and farm spirits, and in some cases you’ll die intentionally to trigger your trance when it’s not full.

now to get ready for post 150!

quick addendum: i think what makes my ask blog unique is how ridiculously wordy i can get over the dumbest bullshit. building a consistent setting and personality for your character can be a lot of fun, so the answers to your questions don’t always need to fit entirely within a picture punchline. for instance, despite being text-only, askeirin (because i haven’t linked enough things in this post yet) is one of my favorite blogs just for the comedic value of having someone answer incredibly stupid questions in an entirely in-character and straightforward manner. ]

WE WERE ABOUT TO SCOLD YOU FOR YOUR LACK OF PROOFREADING, BUT THEN WE REALIZED THAT IF i = 1 THEN YOUR QUESTION IS TECHNICALLY GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT.

IN ANY CASE, WE DO NOT HAVE A TIME MACHINE. TIME TRAVEL IN THE DREAM WORLD IS RESTRICTED UNTIL THE REPERCUSSIONS OF IT ARE MORE THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD.

WE DO HAVE LASER CANNONS. MANY, MANY LASER CANNONS. MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED OF THEM ARE VISIBLE ON THE EXTERIOR ARRAYS OF OUR PLATFORM, AND WE HAVE QUITE A FEW MORE OF THEM CONCEALED BEYOND THAT. EXACTLY HOW MANY IS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION.

IT DEPENDS ON THE NATURE OF THE SUPERNATURAL AID INVOLVED. IT COULD DETACH THE DREAMER’S SOUL ENTIRELY, EFFECTIVELY KILLING THE BODY, OR IT COULD PERMIT THE SUBCONSCIOUS TO OPERATE ON ITS OWN, ALLOWING THE BODY TO CONTINUE FUNCTIONING IN REALITY SIMULTANEOUSLY. BUT AS FAR AS HUMAN ABILITIES GO, THE SAFEST AND MOST RELIABLE METHOD WOULD FUNCTION AS YOU SUGGESTED, LEAVING THE BODY IN STASIS.

REGARDLESS, IT WOULD BE MORE CONVENIENT TO SIMPLY BRING YOUR BODY WITH YOU INTO THE DREAM WORLD. REMEMBER, AT NO POINT DURING A DREAM IS ANY PART OF YOU, PHYSICAL OR OTHERWISE, TRULY INSIDE THE DREAM WORLD, SO FINDING A WAY TO PROJECT YOURSELF HERE BY METAPHYSICAL MEANS WOULDN’T ACTUALLY BE A SHORTCUT.

THIS, APPARENTLY.